My Story
My whole life, just like all of us, is a testimony. But in order to keep this short and sweet, I’m going to go into what I think of as the grand finale of a firework show. While it’s not a finale by any means, this season of my life has felt like this imagery.
To start, I’ll say that I grew up going to church every Sunday and Wednesday because my saint of a mother insisted on it. During my young adulthood, that went out the window for quite a while. But in my heart, I knew that it was important to get back into church, dig back into the Word and BE with Him. So I tried… there were many instances in my adulthood where I could feel God’s presence, I had a new fire in my heart, I had the desire to be walking in His word. And it would fade out. Embarrassingly, I would get to a point where I’d veer off just a little bit and I’d find myself back on the worldly road.
In 2022, my daughter attempted to take her life. She was 16 years old had fallen into a depression that I chalked up to being a moody teenager. It rocked my world to the core and I turned to our Father during that time. I myself have dealt with depression for years. I should have seen the signs…but they were missed. We moved forward, Camille got better and we became comfortable again. I started doing the audio/visual stuff in church and was a helping hand at every opportunity. But the feeling inside of me was not great. All of these things felt like an obligation. God saved my baby girl and now I owed it to him to be a better person. I didn’t understand.
Fast forward to 2024. Looking back, I was the most lukewarm Christian ever. You better believe I was at church at every opportunity… but I had no joy in my life. Things were comfortable…but I had too much on my plate and I held onto all of those things instead of giving them over. Depression hit hard and I sucked it up and dealt with it on my own. Side note, that NEVER works out for any of us.
In the summer of 2024, I had a dream. I don’t dream often but this one will stay with me for the rest of my life. It was a nightmare where I was surrounded in darkness and shadows in my bedroom. I’ve never felt such a fear. Right before I woke up, there was a figure standing at the end of my bed and he told me “time is short, it’s time to come back”. I knew immediately that was God speaking to me.
In September of 2024, my husband and I went fishing (one of my favorite past times). We pulled up to the lake and it was a bit windy, but we’d already driven over there so we got out and set up our chairs. I was feeling dizzy and it was a weird feeling but figured I’d just push through. About an hour of being out there, I knew I needed to get home. The dizziness was getting worse. I ended up going to bed that night thinking I’d wake up feeling better.
The next morning, I couldn’t hardly walk because of the spinning in my head. I had Taylor take me to the urgent care, thinking it was vertigo or an inner ear infection. I’d never had either but that’s what Google said so that’s what I was going with. Urgent care told us to just go to the hospital. We spent the entire day in there with them running test after test and no results. As they were coming in to go over my discharge papers, the ER doc asked me if I would consent to an MRI. She just couldn’t get over the feeling that I needed to do that. I said of course! I didn’t want to leave without any answers. So they admitted me that night and my results came back in the morning.
The hospitalist came in and told me I had a mass on my brain and I needed to go see a neurologist right away. I was floored. And speechless. They started calling around trying to get me into someone and nobody close would take me. THAT was a God thing in itself. The neurologist that I ended up getting in with is Dr. Krisht out of Little Rock. Arkansas. Not only a neurologist… but a world renowned one who has doctors from all over the world coming into to study under him.
After a week in Little Rock, Dr. Krisht came up with a plan to remove the tumor. Because it was so deep, he couldn’t be 100% sure of what it was. They put me on medication, scheduled surgery, and sent me home. The medication made me so sick. I was unable to do much of anything and started feeling so useless and vulnerable. Depression set in. But I had to be strong on the outside for my family. Inside was a complete turmoil. The one question that plagued me was, if I don’t make it through this…if my time has come…where am I going when I leave this earth? And for the first time, I truly considered that question and I couldn’t be honest with myself with a for sure answer. *But God*
I’ve grown up in church my whole life. But my relationship with God is like my relationship with dieting. Yo-yo. I was lukewarm and had been for such a long time. I believed, I read His word when I felt a tug, I prayed when things weren’t going right, went to church out of obligation because it’s the right thing to do. And I hated myself for this revelation. *But God*
Surgery date came, and while it took longer than scheduled, all went well. Dr. Krisht was confident he got it all. The second hammer hit me when he informed me that what he took out was a Glioma. A cancerous brain tumor. We would have to wait on the biopsy to see what grade it was and if chemo/radiation would be needed. I was out of ICU quicker than they expected and my healing process was going tremendously. Back home we went. Cancer! I made it through surgery but brain cancer?! Worry after worry started tumbling in. *But God*
I started getting back into God’s word while doing absolutely nothing at home. It was all I had. A few weeks later, Sharon (Dr. Krisht’s angel of a nurse) called and told me that the glioma was a stage 2. No chemo or radiation would be needed. But glioma’s have a tendency to come back. So I would need to undergo annual MRI’s for the rest of my life.
January 1, 2025, I rededicated my life to my Father. I came to him, with all the baggage and all the turmoil and laid it down at His feet. I knew that I did not want to spend eternity without being in His presence and I’d wasted so many years on my own self. He brought me through this season and kept me on this earth for a reason!! *BUT GOD*
Through all of this, I was so grateful for the amazing support system I’ve been blessed with. Friends, family, work family…it’s incredible how much I have and how much I took that for granted. I will be forever grateful how God showed up for my husband during all this as well. The strength he had through this, standing right by my side and always being a solid foundation…that was God given. I’m alive…and I’m living for Him.
2025 was not an easy year. But with God leading my every step (even when he has to grab my hand and steer me another direction), I have made it through with JOY each and every day. Joy through the entire month of March 2025 where my dad was in the hospital with what ended up being colon cancer. Joy when my little brother had his ACL torn at work and later got infected to the point the doctors had to remove all of his ACL and will undergo a year of recovery. JOY when my grandfather had to have an emergency triple bypass. JOY when I got the news later in 2025 that I have another cancer worry with a tumor they found during my colonoscopy. Joy being the spiritual gift that He has pruned in this season of mine. He provides strength in every trial and this year has been a front row view of that truth.
Now, in 2026, the trials are still there. The unplanned Chaos is around every turn but so is our Father's Grace. In this new season, he has shown me the importance of community. This new blog is one that I hope will be an encouragement for all women who feel lost and alone. God gave us each other so that we could lift each other up and be that shoulder to cry on or that friend to laugh with. So, welcome! I pray this avenue leads to a wonderful sisterhood where God can show up and show out!